Today I’ve been mostly pointing at things in menus. This afternoon we went to an Italian restaurant for lunch, where the menu was in Italian with a French translation underneath, neither of which I speak. After picking out a few words I recognised I was still really none the wiser, so I just pointed at the most expensive thing on the menu, read it out in a bad French accent as though I actually knew what I was saying, and added “avec frites”. As it turned out my £19 brought a large veal steak in breadcrumbs with fried courgette on the side. Nice. This evening didn’t bring so much luck – we went to a Chinese restaurant which had a menu in Chinese with English descriptions, though the daily specials were exclusively in French. I started with the rather odd sounding Shark Fin and Crab soup, which was weird fishy meat served in a soup that tasted like curried parsnip. For my main meal I thought it would be funny to order something that would be a total surprise, so I plumped for “Tete a lion” – what that translates as I have no idea, but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be lion. When it came the waiter brought it over in a serving dish with a lid, sat it on my table, et voila! He pulled the lid off to reveal what appeared to be a big mound of dumpling not dissimilar to sticky toffee pudding, covered in a stinky brown sauce. “Tete a lion?” I query. “Oui” was the response, so I tentatively spooned a mouthful off the side of the dumpling. To say the taste was odd would be an understatement. The dumpling had the texture and flavour of supermarket own-brand meatballs, kind of like meatloaf, and the stinky brown sauce tasted like chocolate syrup mixed with gravy. The first few forkfuls were a struggle and I visibly grimaced every time I swallowed. I wondered aloud what type of meat it was. “Pedigree Chum” my mate offered.
When the Chinese/Swiss waiter came over to clear our plates away I asked him politely what I had just eaten. “Pork” he said.
“Pork? What do you put in it to give it that interesting dumpling shape?”
“Um…” he thought for a minute. “Pork.”
I’m told that “tete” means head. I think it was pig brain. Maybe it’s time to learn some French. Or perhaps Chinese.
Song currently stuck in my head – “Hands Down” by Dashboard Confessional.
dissolvoray@hotmail.co.uk
"If only life were more like a 1950s sci-fi movie."
Wednesday, 28 February 2007
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1 comment:
Have you never had Lion's Head before? It's a chinese thing, kinda like the british banger, but more minking than that.... You get it in Wok Wok down crown St... But you've probably forgotten all about Aberdeen by now! :)
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