Post 39 - Stuck In The 'Dam.

After the first three weeks in Geneva, I was granted a weekend at home this weekend. After spending the day having my balls bored off in a sales meeting at work on Friday, I left at 3pm and jumped on a flight home to Aberdeen. I was met by my beautiful girlfriend who I hadn’t seen in 3 weeks and spent a wonderful weekend with her, my family and her family. As well as splashing out on a spanking new all-singing all-dancing laptop so I can finally get the fucking internet in Geneva and stop bothering Kai to upload all my blogs, I also spunked away a fair wedge on a new Sony 10mega pixel digital camera so I can document my time abroad, I also got a few new books, and borrowed a stack of DVDs off Lucius Shitface to stave off the boredom of life in my Swiss flat. The weekend sadly had to end though and this afternoon I reported to Aberdeen airport to return to Switzerland. Of course plans went a little tits up, and my flight from Aberdeen to Amsterdam was delayed by almost 2 hours. By the time we landed in Amsterdam the last flight to Geneva had already left, leaving us pretty much stranded in Holland. Well, there are worse places to be stranded I suppose. After visiting various KLM service windows in Schipol airport, and a few cries of “where the hell are we supposed to stay now?”, KLM agreed to put us on an early morning flight and spring for a hotel for us in Amsterdam, a free bus, as well as a bag of overnight essentials, since to rub salt into the wound, they couldn’t find my luggage (though I’m assured it will be waiting for me in Geneva tomorrow morning). And so we travelled on to the Ibis hotel in Amsterdam from where I currently write. My room consists of a single bed, a TV (which is showing the Chelsea Spurs match, so not all bad), a shower, and a radiator which is stuck at the highest temperature. Our free dinner which we were promised was a choice of weird chewy meat in a grey sauce with tinned potatoes and bread roll, or nothing. I took the chewy meat and a pint of cool refreshing Heineken. My free goody bag of overnight essentials contains: One XXL shapeless plain white t-shirt; a hairbrush; shaving cream and a disposable razor; some deodorant; toothpaste and a toothbrush; a huge pair of itchy navy blue socks; some make-up remover; some laundry detergent (?); and some moisturiser. All in all a decent little package, though missing a few Amsterdam overnight essentials, such as condoms and a joint. Oh, and some shampoo would have come in handy. Also, the underwear I am in was going to have to last me all night tonight and all day tomorrow since I am going to have to go straight from the planr to work, so I made a little trip to the hotel’s gift shop to see if they could solve my pants problem. Being that it was full of absolute tat, I didn’t hold out much hope, but they surprised me: they did in fact stock boxers, albeit only two types: XL knee length boxer shorts covered in hash leaves, or XL knee length boxers covered in windmills. I chose the windmills. I didn’t have any Euros since I wasn’t expecting to be staying in Amsterdam, and the woman behind the counter wouldn’t accept Visa transactions under 20 Euros, so I had to fill my arms with loads of other crap to take the price up, and then asked for a packet of smokes as well. All very well, except the woman behind the counter told me it was illegal to pay for cigarettes in Amsterdam with a credit card. No amount of arguing that that was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard would change her mind, so I told her to hold onto it while I queued at reception for 15 minutes to exchange some sterling into Euros. Oh well, at least I didn’t have to buy the sunglasses and other crap I didn’t want to make it up to 20 Euros. Except that when I went back in, she had already rung it all through and I couldn’t be bothered arguing any more, so I walked out with my XL windmill pants, a pair of gigantic sunglasses, a few other pieces of tat, and thankfully a pack of Marlboro light. This takes the time to 23.30 and my bus to the airport is at 05.00 so I’m thinking it’s time to turn in. I realise this blog has consisted of one incredibly long winded and incredibly boring paragraph, but well, it’s my weblog and that’s how I do things.

Song currently stuck in my head – “I Feel For You” by Chaka Khan.
dissolvoray@hotmail.co.uk